For women who are accustomed to a healthy sex drive, it can be downright frightening when it suddenly seems to disappear. Not only do you have to reassure yourself that it doesn’t make you any less of a woman, sometimes you find yourself trying to convince your partner that it has nothing to do with him.
And you’re not alone. Studies show that about 43 percent of women in America have reported periods of time in which they lack the desire for sex. There are many reasons for this, and they could be physical or psychological, but rest assured that your low libido is not in your head or simply because you are female.
Before you fill out that application to your local convent, take a deep breath and read on. You might make the surprising discovery that your sex drive isn’t irretrievable, just temporarily hijacked.
Here are five simple ways for women to increase their libido:
1. Take Time Away
Let’s face it—routine can be a killjoy. What was once fresh and exciting can often become stale and boring. If you see your partner everyday and make love often, you may start to lose that sense of anticipation. Mary Carole Pistole of Purdue University performed studies showing that spending some time away from your partner may increase your desire for sex with him. Couples who spend all their time together are more likely to take each other for granted, which is a breeding ground for boredom. So try taking some time away from your lover, whether it’s a week-long vacation or simply a couple of hours with your friends, and watch the sparks fly again!
2. Lose the Stress
Stress is a devious culprit in all areas of health, so it’s no surprise that it would also have negative affects on your sex drive. Unfortunately, many people choose stress-relievers that actually further decrease their sexual desire, like sugary comfort foods, tobacco, or alcohol. Look for healthier ways to reduce or eliminate stress in your life, such as delegating more of your work, taking down time where you turn off your email and phone, and practicing known stress busters such as yoga, meditation or deep breathing techniques. If work stress is unavoidable, try visiting the spa, the gym, or your favorite coffee shop before coming home and connecting with your partner.
3. Talk It Out
Communication isn’t always easy, especially when it’s about something this personal, but if there is an unaddressed problem in the relationship it will most likely affect the woman’s desire for sex. Having healthy communication and good conflict resolution can aid in your ability to be aroused by your partner. Even if the problem you’re struggling with has nothing to do with your relationship, talking about it with your lover will still be helpful so that he doesn’t feel he’s doing something wrong or that you’re no longer turned on by him. In addition, you may want to talk about your sexual expectations, which includes what you like and don’t like, what you’re shy about, and even some of your fantasies. Consider detailed communication throughout the day via text or email about how excited you are to join your partner in the bedroom that night as day-long foreplay!
4. Check Your Meds
These days there seems to be a fix-it pill for everything, but it’s never wise to accept medication without researching the possible side effects. There are many medications that have adverse affects on a woman’s sex drive. Some of the most well-known medications that can decrease libido in women are antidepressants, birth control pills, antihistamines, anti-seizure drugs, painkillers such as Vicodin or Oxycontin, and medical marijuana. If you are taking any of these medications and suspect that it may be affecting your libido, try adjusting the dosage or asking your doctor about alternative medication.
5. Eat Healthy
If putting the wrong things in your body can decrease your libido, it stands to reason that putting the right things in your body can boost it. If your diet includes a lot of processed or sugary food, it may be taking a toll on your libido because sugar actually “turns off” your sex hormone genes. Fitness Magazine lists several libido-boosting foods to help revamp your body and prime it for that sexual rush. Next time you’re at the grocery store, add foods like black raspberries, broccoli, cloves, figs, watermelon, eggs, and lettuce to your list. If you find that your libido is still a little low, try a natural solution like L-arginine, an amino acid that helps relax your blood vessels.
A lack of interest in sex happens to everyone on occasion, especially during times of difficulty and change, like losing a job or moving. But if happens more regularly, it will just take a little faithful sleuthing on your part to pinpoint exactly what has been affecting your libido. And with careful observation, patience, and a few lifestyle changes, you can ignite your flame once more.
The articles on this website are not to be construed as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.